COURSE TITLE:
CONDUCT IN COURTSHIP
INTRODUCTION
Courtship
refers to the period when a young matured man and woman has passed the stage of
friendship in their relationship and has agreed to come together as husband and
wife. It is a period of preparation to marry.
The period of courtship is usually
very exciting as it offers the engaged couple the opportunity of knowing and
understanding each other to some extent.
This period is very important because
it is used to by a good foundation for the planned marriage.
The conduct of couples during this
period is very crucial to the success or failure of their relationship.
Conduct
Conduct
is simply the way someone behaves either in secret or in the public.
Couples
in courtship should always remember that they are believes in Christ, therefore
their conduct should be guided by the principles of the faith as expressed in
the word of God.
Expectations From Couples
1. Holiness- the intending couple should
apply self-control in their relationship and abstain from tempting situation
and action (1 theis 5:22, 2 Tim 2:22)
Avoid things like
(a) Staying behind closed doors together
alone
(b) Paying night visits
(c) Intimate touching
(d) Kissing and caressing
(e) Hugging and petting or any other action
that will likely arouse your sexual instinct
1. Determine to maintain untainted
relationship with God expected to embark on a journey of discovery in order to
find common grounds of compatibility, goals, interest etc.
(a) Discover more about your partners Christian
character, habits, attitude, temperament, emotional stability, manner of
talking, handling financial matters, manner of dressing etc.
Observe
your partner closely in order to know how to adjust and blend together
(b) Find out more about your partner’s ambition
in life, the family background, past life, career and health status or
challenges (if any)
3. Trust – the couple should build trust in
themselves during courtship. Trust in God is paramount to their relationship
because it will also form the building blocks of trusting each other (Prov
3:5,6 in their marriage)
4. Openness – there is a need for openness
and transparency during courtship- there
are vital issues and question that need answers and classifications. The couple
should discuss and agree on vital issues such as
·
parental background – say all you know
about this
·
discuss problem, setbacks, sickness
that are prevalent in the family
·
financial matters – debts owed (if
any), business & career discuss number of children wanted, type of
accommodation, wedding plans etc.
In your
discussions,
(a) be free to
express your mind
(b) be truthful (c)
don’t be afraid of misunderstanding
(d) note your
differences and similarities
5. Prayer –you should pray fervently and
consistently for the relationship. Courtship period is a trying time
spiritually emotionally, physically, financially and it should be bathed in
prayer daily to ensure a successful completion.
PREPARATION FOR WEDDING
Courtship period affords the intending
couple the opportunity to plan how their wedding would be note the following in
your plans:
(a)
Aims at glorifying God in your wedding
(b)
Avoid extravagance- do not copy anyone
else. be moderate
(c)
Avoid borrowing – do not begin your
new home with debts
(d)
Don’t base your plans on promises of financial
support by people but on the cash you have
DISENGAGEMENT
If for any reasons, the relationship
cannot continue, it should be reported to the marriage committee, the Deacons’
board or the minister in-charge. It is better to have a broken engagement than
a broken home.
CONCLUSION
Courtship through filled
with excitement is also very challenging. It requires self control, discipline
and determination by both pertness. You can indeed make it work.