PARENTING THE ADOLESCENT IN NIGERIA AND WORLDWIDE

This article is intended for parents and their up growing child. After reading some books and receiving information from one family or the other, i decided to write this articles. i also quoted some writes speeches. Please reading carefully.

Parenting a child is recognized by psychologists as a salient factor in child development and socialization (Freud, 1965; Frikson, 1963; Baumrind, 1971; Slater and Power 1987; and Uzoka, 1980) similarly, Agulama (1999) sees the family as the primary institution that socializes the young and provides surveillance over item behaviour.
            Difficulties experienced in the upbringing of child are inextricably associated with the nature and function of the family as it is evident in the present day society. Throughout childhood youngsters are dependent on their parents because of their lack of experience and submissive nature. Parents on
the other hand, are protective and because of their responsibility, directive. As adolescence is reached, these familial roles change. The adolescent finds that individuality must be achieved, independence accreted, and autonomy won. The strivings for this changes may lead to disobedience, arguments, conflicts and rebellion especially when they are forcefully brought under adult control. Many adolescent also dislike being directed and led by their parents. Yet they are, according to the findings of Bernard (1975), apprehensive of the implications of becoming independent.

            Some parents today in Nigeria, who have adolescent children, are those that were born and bred in urban areas where traditional culture and customs are not strictly adhered to. In an attempt to join the craze for modernity these people have no regard for traditional norms and values. This then affects their parenting roles as they would want to have children that are “modern” in out look.
            There modes of parental control exist. They are either authoritative permissive or democratic in nature. In an authoritative family, Baumrind (1986) agreed with Douvan and Adelson (1966) that parents play a domineering role in establishing the conducts that are to be adhered to. Ogbebor (1994) and Horrocks (1976) agreed that most adolescents are resentful of authoritarian parental control. This type of parental control limits to the extreme independent decision making.
            For a permissive family, Hurlock (1973) observes that adolescents from this type of haves frequently have little respect for their parents and little desire to take up responsibility in the home. Here parents exercise little or no control /interest in whatever decisions adolescents take.
            In a democratic family, adolescents are consulted on family matters even though the parents retain the final authority (Elder, 1968; Douvan and Adelson, 1966). When adolescents perceive their parents as democratic, they are most often motivated to comply with their parental wishes.
            Conflicts at times occurs between adolescents and their parents. The reasons for such conflicts according to Block and Langman (1974) include sexual behaviour, dressing and using of drugs. But the most single cause of parent- adolescent conflict is the preservation of parent’s attitudes that interfere with the adolescent’s greatly expanded need for volitional independence. The adolescent should try to show patience and understanding towards his parents.
                         
Shetzer and Stone (1976) have identified parent- youth conflicts as they end products of a process of opposition which begins in early infancy and comes to fruition in adolescence. Douvan and Adelson (1966) have also found that males rather than females are more likely to become engaged in disagreement with their parents.
            Counsellors and psychologists should join the civil society in the struggle to smoother the relationship between adolescents and their parents for better society. They should also mount intensive media awareness to help educate them properly.
            Within the school setting, psychologists and counselors can use the forum of P.T.A meetings to address parents on the different models of parenting the adolescent and the major causes of conflicts among them.
            They can also open up private counseling clinics to avail parents and adolescents that are not within the regular school system the opportunity of counseling services in the regard.
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