Every single youth should be preoccupied with self building, cultivating, growing and acquiring skills needed for overcoming in life, instead of rushing into marriage because age is not on their side.
Age
does is not a prerequisite for marriage but knowledge. Love alone cannot give
you a happy marriage. If you take a study of the divorced and separated, you
would find out that the reason for separation is not lack of love or money, but
lack of knowledge on how to live and manage their resources. No wonder Dr.
Myles Munroe asked “would you marry you if you knew you like you know you? If
you know everything about yourself, would you marry you?
Let’s
x-ray some of the things that singles should focus on before marriage.
1.
Intra-personal Relationship
The
most important type of relationship is intra-personal relationship. Just as you
find it difficult to live with people you hate and despise, so would it be if
you hate and despise yourself You can maintain a good intra-personal
relationship by building self esteem and confidence through the word of God.
Realize that there is no other you. You are unique and the best cos you are
exactly who God had in mind to create. Your color, race, feature and stature
all contribute to make you peculiar. You are constantly showing the world how
to see, treat and relate with you by the way you see, treat and relate with
yourself. People will respect and treat you right when you respect and treat
yourself right.
2.
Bad habits
Bad
habits they say die hard. Yes whether hard or easy, the point is that they will
die. All you need is to make a list of your bad or negative habits and draw up
a plan on working on them. With consistency. Commitment and dedication, you can
overcome those habits gradually as a single. Knowing that what you cannot
overcome as a single you have to endure in marriage. Remember successful
singles make successful marriage.
3.
Acquire knowledge
Many
break ups in marriage and relationships are traceable to lack of knowledge. The
Bible says my people perish due to lack of knowledge. Don’t ignore knowledge
cos the prize is too high. It is popularly said if you want to hide something
from a black man, put it in a book.
Below
are some areas you should seek for knowledge as a single.
Gender
differences
Men
and women are different in many ways and this difference remains till the end
of the world. Men are driven by achievement while women by relationship, men
want to explore while women wants to share, men want respect while women want
love etc. knowledge of this helps you cope with life and its challenges
especially in marriage.
Acquisition
of communication skills
Learn
how to communicate with the opposite sex effectively. It is very essential in
relationships and marriage. Men love respect and wouldn’t have you bossing them
around. It is a problem when you say one thing and the other party understands
another thing.
Understanding
your role and function
A
woman can never be the head of the family when the husband is still alive. The
woman is the neck who determines the direction of the head through influence.
In the head is the eye that sees the need of the family, the ears that hears
the cry of the family, the nose that smells and pokes into growing issues in
the family and the mouth that speaks up and protects the family. Understand
your role and function in it. A boat with two captains will capsize (divorce).
Building
financial security
Build
a stable system of financial flow. Do not be a leech on your partner.
Contribute to build your home and you will earn and enjoy the respect of your
partner no matter your income or that of your partner. A family financial
system should be built by both partners.
Discover
your purpose
Your
purpose in life is hidden in God. Just as a manufacturer can explain the
purpose of his product, so will God reveal his purpose for you if you go to
Him. Stop searching for a girl or boy to be your wife or husband, seek Gods
purpose for you and you will surely end up with the right person. Discover and
focus on fulfilling God’s purpose for your life. Only then will you be
successfully single and also have a happy and successful married life. Your
marriage is only as good as your single life.
Focus
on having a successful single life and see yourself at the top in marital
bliss.