INTRODUCTION
The
word “rape” which has succeeded in destroying some well and long built
relationships has the explanation written below.
The history of rape which can be
traced from the holy bible in Genesis 34:1-2 where shechem son of Hamour the
Hivite, who was chief of that region (cannan) saw Dinah the daughter, got
attracted to her because of her beauty and raped her. They Jacob’s sons went
back and killed the man, the father and some other people in that place out of
anger.
This singular act which is a
grievous offence by the dictates of the Nigerian constitution, section 357 cap
38 of the criminal code imposes life sentence on person who commits rape while
the same section imposes two years imprisonment on perpetrators.
This barbaric act which has caused
some families involved in one way or the other heart breaking got some killed
in the process and some got everlasting injuries which they still receive
treatment up till today.
DEFINITION
Rape is defined as having forceful
carnal knowledge of a woman or having carnal knowledge through forceful or
fraudulent means.
According to paper back oxford
English dictionary, rape is to force to have intercourse or sex with her
against her will. It is also defined as the act of fulfilling a sexual desire
unjustly OR forcing someone to have sex with you when the person do not want to
by threatening the person or using violence.
A rapist uses power to achieve this
selfish goal in order to satisfy his/her sexual urge. The rapist might take
drugs to give him/her energy, drug the individual in order to sleep off or make
such individual drunk in order to avoid self defence.
Rape is a crime, whether it is
performed by a stranger, a relative, a
boyfriend, a date, an acquaintance or a family member. No matter how it
happens, rape is frightening and traumatizing and such person who are involved
need care, comfort and protection from large one.
Both men and women of various age
are exposed to this deadly act that is rape is unisex issue.
FORMS OF RAPE
As a I earlier said, rape occur in
both sex (unisex). They include:-
a). A
boy to a girl: this is he most commonly seen one in our society. (Opposite
sex). It could be an elderly man raping a young girl, or a young boy raping a
young girl but all that matters is that this type occur in the opposite sex
others
include:
b). A girl
to her fellow girl: this is rare in our society or what we call lesbian, a
girl might be raped by her fellow girl because she refused to become her
lesbian partner.
c). A
boy to his fellow boy: also, this is
rare in our country Nigeria but can be seen in place U.S.A and other
more developed where a boy is raped by his boy(s) because they feel that he is
attractive to them (muscles, heights, handsome e.t.c) or he has been asked out
by his boy to be his fellow partner on bed that is homosexual.
d). A girl(s)
to a boy: I told that rape occur between the both sex because I have seen
instances where a group of girls raped their teacher (the teacher in turn, have
sex with girls, it may be 4 or 55 or even sex and when he refuse, the girls
might kill him or even injure him) because he has never asked any of his class
girls out for a date or any kind of relationship.
REASONS WHY PEOPLE ARE RAPED
Some
people contribute to why they are raped. They include:
a). dressing: some people live a way ward
life. This life can be seen in such individual through their dressing, they way
they talk to people, they way they interact with people in the society e.t.c.
talking
about dressing, when a young girl wears a cloth that is so short, opens every
parts of her body, she is simply attracting rape because men are easily
attracted by what they see.
b). Physical
features: these are element that is seen in one’s body like breast,
muscles, facial beauty, buttocks, big hips, tallness, slimness e.t.c
Some people cannot avoid people
admiring them because of this physical features endowed on them by God this
physical features leads to rape and other things.
c). Faith.
You may be wondering why I said faith, but yes it also play an important role
in our lives. The faith I mean is when God say that an individual must will
make it in life, it will surely come to pass, but they are things temptations
that one can not avoid in life but God has assure us that no temptation that will
come our way that will be bigger than us.
Such temptations include rape
because some young girls dress in such a way that a healthy man or boy will not
even notice them but still this ones are victim of rape almost all the time.
d). Peer
Pressure: this is common seen among the youth (boy)
Peer pressure are group of young
people who are born in the same month, year, some, the same day but fall into
the same age range. Boys are usually victims of peer pressure because a boy who
is among bad friend, will definitely start behaving in such a way because there
is a saying that goes thus “bad company corrupts good manner”.
Some of these boy are pushed by
their peer groups in order to prove to their age grade that they are real men
and can do anything this is why such boys involve in things like rape, robbery,
e.t.c
WHAT IS RELATIONSHIP
Relationship can be defined as the
way in which two or more people are connected or behave towards each other. OR
a living and sexual association two people.
It can also be defined as “any
connection, involvement, or association between two people, regardless of it’s
source” Ike. J. Ndolo (2006:5)
Relationships starts when two people
or more than meet in a particular place, it could be church, school, market
place, social gathering e.t.c. such relationship can be permanent or it cannot
be permanent.
TYPES OF RELATIONSHIP
We
have different types of relationship which include:
1) ROMANTIC
RELATIONSHIP: this is sub –divided into two:
(a) cross-sex relationship: such as husband
and wife, fiancé and fiancée, boy and girl e.t.c.
(b) same-sex
relationship: such as homosexual lesbian where the same sex partners have
relationship that include having sex and call themselves such names as
roommates, lovers, partners e.t.c
2). Friendship
relationship: As friendship types include cross-sex or same-sex using such
labels as best friends, close friends, just friends, casual friends, pal e.t.c
3). Family
relationship: this is a type of relationship where the participants are
called brother, sister, aunty, uncle, grandparents, mummy, daddy, step-brother
cousin, siblings e.t.c.
This participants are blood related.
4). Work
and function- based relationship: these relationships are such relationship
that exists between employer and employee, lecture and student, co-workers,
school mate, pastor and parishioners e.t.c.
REASONS WHY WE ENTER INTO RELATIONSHIP
1) To understand ourselves
2) To understand others
3) To understand and cope with our world
4) To fulfill our needs
5) To increase and enrich positive
experiences
Effects
of rape in a relationship
a) Diseases:
when girl is raped by someone she does not know, there are chances to get
infected with one deadly disease or the other like sexual transmitted diseases
or infections (STDs or STIs), HIV/ AIDs, e.t.c. this diseases a re so deadly
that they can cause illness and death
b) Lack
of trust: any relationship that lacks trust, is a worthless relationship
because trust is the solid foundation in which relationship are built upon.
For a example, when a girl has been
raped by a boy or group of boys, such girl can hardly trust any boy for her to
go into relationship with him but when she agree to enter such relationship,
she will never trust the boy and she will never be seen alone with the boy
because she has captioned boys to be all the same.
c) Psychological
problem: some, after being raped, affect their brain and they begin to
behave abnormally. Such people needs medical attention or a guidance and
counselor (G and C) to counsel them out of such problem. When this problem is
not treated well can lead to madness or even broken marriage because such a
person will continue having problem with the husband everyday. Some of them
hardly get married because they have lost their trust for men.
d) s
People involved in rape feel inferior, and have been cheated and they think
that they no longer fit into the society.
Some of them loss their friend
because they stay indoors and do not want to be seen or heard by anyone in the
society.
Also, Guidance and Counselor (G and
C) is needed when it has gotten this stage.
e) Death:
some people who are involved in rape die because their infections or diseases
were not treated when or because of one problem or the other that rape has
caused.
Some who are raped by unknown person
may eventually get pregnant and they will commit abortion which leads to the
destruction of their wombs or other vital parts of their body. When such
individuals get married, they can not be able to produce their own babies,
except through God’s intervention. Some who could not bear children die because
of frustration from either their mother in-laws or husband’s family
f) Risk
of getting pregnant: people who are involved in rape sometimes stand a
great chance of getting pregnant and this is not good for young one who are
still in secondary school.
When such things happen, such an
individual becomes a school drop, affects ones career in future and this is not
good at all.
WHAT SHOULD YOU DO WHEN YOU ARE RAPED?
When one is raped, one needs to care
of herself properly. For some people, that means reporting the crime
immediately and fighting to see the rapist is brought to justice. Rape is an
act of aggression and violence. Sometimes a rapist will try to exert even more
power by making the who has been raped feel like it was actually his or her
fault. A rapist may say stuff like “you asked for it” or you wanted it”. His is
just another way of the rapist to take control. The truth is that what a person
wears, what a person says, or how a person acts is never a justification for
rape.
(1) Report
such cases to police: most people who are raped know their rapist. That can
sometimes lead the person who’s been raped to try to protect the perpetrator,
do not worry about protecting the person who raped you. If you want to report
the crime to the police, do so. Reporting may help protect others from that
person and may help you feel a little less like you were a victim.
(2) Seek
Medical care: the first thing someone who has been raped needs to do is see
a medical doctor. Most medical centers and hospital emergency department have
doctors and counselors who have been trained to take care of raped patients. It
is important to get medical care because a doctor will need to check you for
sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and
internal injuries.
You should get medical attention
right away without charging your clothes, showering, douching or washing. It
can be hard not to clean up, or course-it’s a natural human instinct to wash
away all traces of sexual assault. But being examined right away is the best to
ensure you get proper medical treatment.
In conclusion, rape is not good and people who have been
involve in it will tell you that it is not something you prayer for because it
deadliest thing to do that man inhumanity to man and even God frown’s at it.
People are called rapist should
either change now they still have the time or will be caught up by the law someday.