COURSE TITLE: CONDUCT IN COURTSHIP
Courtship refers to the period when a young matured man and woman has passed the stage of friendship in their relationship and has agreed to come together as husband and wife. It is a period of preparation to marry.
The period of courtship is usually very exciting as it offers the engaged couple the opportunity of knowing and understanding each other to some extent.
This period is very important because it is used to by a good foundation for the planned marriage.
The conduct of couples during this period is very crucial to the success or failure of their relationship.
Conduct is simply the way someone behaves either in secret or in the public.
Couples in courtship should always remember that they are believes in Christ, therefore their conduct should be guided by the principles of the faith as expressed in the word of God.
Expectations From Couples
1. Holiness- the intending couple should apply self-control in their relationship and abstain from tempting situation and action (1 theis 5:22, 2 Tim 2:22) Avoid things like
(a) Staying behind closed doors together alone
(b) Paying night visits
(c) Intimate touching
(d) Kissing and caressing
(e) Hugging and petting or any other action that will likely arouse your sexual instinct
1. Determine to maintain untainted relationship with God expected to embark on a journey of discovery in order to find common grounds of compatibility, goals, interest etc.
(a) Discover more about your partners Christian character, habits, attitude, temperament, emotional stability, manner of talking, handling financial matters, manner of dressing etc.
Observe your partner closely in order to know how to adjust and blend together
(b) Find out more about your partner’s ambition in life, the family background, past life, career and health status or challenges (if any)
3. Trust – the couple should build trust in themselves during courtship. Trust in God is paramount to their relationship because it will also form the building blocks of trusting each other (Prov 3:5,6 in their marriage)
4. Openness – there is a need for openness and transparency during courtship- there are vital issues and question that need answers and classifications. The couple should discuss and agree on vital issues such as
· parental background – say all you know about this
· discuss problem, setbacks, sickness that are prevalent in the family
· financial matters – debts owed (if any), business & career discuss number of children wanted, type of accommodation, wedding plans etc.
In your discussions,
(a) be free to express your mind
(b) be truthful (c) don’t be afraid of misunderstanding
(d) note your differences and similarities
5. Prayer –you should pray fervently and consistently for the relationship. Courtship period is a trying time spiritually emotionally, physically, financially and it should be bathed in prayer daily to ensure a successful completion.
PREPARATION FOR WEDDING
Courtship period affords the intending couple the opportunity to plan how their wedding would be note the following in your plans:
(a) Aims at glorifying God in your wedding
(b) Avoid extravagance- do not copy anyone else. be moderate
(c) Avoid borrowing – do not begin your new home with debts
(d) Don’t base your plans on promises of financial support by people but on the cash you have
If for any reasons, the relationship cannot continue, it should be reported to the marriage committee, the Deacons’ board or the minister in-charge. It is better to have a broken engagement than a broken home.
Courtship through filled with excitement is also very challenging. It requires self control, discipline and determination by both pertness. You can indeed make it work.