Marital
Instability, which simply refers to the interpersonal difficulties
within the marital relationship, has many causative factors.
Ajai and Ipaye (1997) wrote thus: The family is the most basic unit of society
and building block for national development. Just as there
cannot exist any society without families or homes, there
cannot be sustainable development without stable families or homes. Nothing man
does is ever perfect, therefore, there are bound
to be imperfections in marriages. He also perceived that various conflict and crises that cause marital
problems include the following factors: economic hardship, sickness and
sexual
incompatibility. Onyia and Aniche
(2002) summarized the causes of marital
disruption as follows: unsatisfactory sexual relationship,
incompatibility of the couple, economic issue and childlessness and sex of the children.
In
Amahuo (1982) the followings are observed as the causes of
marital instability; sexual starvation/deprivation, incompatibility
of tempers, educational disparity and unwise choice of a
partner. Kumuyi (2004) pinpointed the factors that causes
marital failure as follows; lack of love by the husband for the wife,
unsub,missiveness on the part of the wife and sexual starvation. Nkwocha (2002) noted that marital instability is caused by childlessness, sickness, male child
syndrome and incompatibility. Gorer
(1971) summarized the causes of marital instability in the following ways: lack of love/affection, poverty, infidelity, drunkenness and sexual incompatibility.
According
to Ugwuanyi (1999) the factors that cause marital crises are as
follows: infidelity, lack of financial and emotional support and
undue interference from the in-laws. In the same way Ezeh (2000)
perceived the following factors as the cause of marital
instability: lack of harmony among the couples, economic
problems/unemployment, sickness and lack of adequate support. The causes of marital
instability can then be reviewed.
BARRENNESS
According to Nkwocha (2002) childlessness is not
new. It is as old as the world. But the problem is perhaps
more prevalent in modern society. They, as marriage counselors know
what childless
couples are going through.
Especially, the so-called barren womeri_go through
hell. In most cases her husband believes she is the one that has a problem.
The husband feels less concerned about the plight of the woman
especially where the man has another wife who has children
through him. In such a case, the women affected suffer terrible
humiliation from her husband or the other wife. This situation
is complicated in monogamous homes, because the couples face more
pressures from parent's in-laws, friends, relation etc.
The
primary aim of marriage is procreation. When there is no
child as a result of impotence on the part of either the wife or husband,
conflict will set in (Owo 1994). Nwigwe noted that childlessness
is caused by infertility in either of the husband or wife.
He also noted that about 15 percent of the adult population in
the childbearing age group (20 - 40 years) is primary infertile. In showing how some
societies view childlessness, he said that in some
societies, childless couples are seen as people who are cursed or people who
have offended the gods. So inside the confines of their homes, they
blame one another for causing the problem.
Jossy expressed her feelings, when she-had not
gotten any child after her marriage thus "one other thing I
have seen in marriage is that the expectation of the first
pregnancy after wedding elicits a lot of hysteria. Most times, it
adversely affects the couple. In our own case, we were lucky that it
happened not long after the wedding. But even then, there were
remarks that made us very uneasy (Ekedinma, 1990).
SICKNESS
Sickness,
illness or ill health is the aftermath of the presence of disease in the body. Such a
health disorder is a major problem in the
family. It destabilizes a home and denies family member's good health, peace of mind and happiness. This is because if adequate care is not taken, sickness
emanating from serious ailment can
lead to death. In addition, sickness consumes a lot of money, much of which may not be readily available in the family. In fact many families spend much of their
time in hospitals and much of their
finances on hospital bills. This is sad (Nkwocha 2002).
Eze (2000) noted sickness as one of the causes of marital instability. Any-family that goes to hospitaler
spends most of their time in hospital
is prone to have problems in their home. This is because they spend a lot of money, and a times they forfeit
going to work, which will result in poverty.
MALE CHILD SYNDROME
In Nigeria, serious emotional attachment is placed on male children. If
all the children are females, the man may want to get another wife to continue the search for a male child and this may lead to divorce (Owo, 1994). Nkwocha (2002) perceived that many marriages have collapsed as a
result of the male child syndrome. This is a phenomenon in which a husband, a wife
or the husband's relatives or friends regard the birth of a boy in the
family as being more important than that of girls. Many homes are therefore in turmoil because the
couples do not have a male child or male children. As a result of this behaviour, many wives are
usually on edge and unhappy until they are
able to have at least one male child. In the frantic search for the
elusive male child or children, many women
end up having many female children. Nwankwo, (1999) reported* the case of a woman who ended up having thirteen (13) children,
all of them are girls, because the husband insisted that his wife must give him a baby boy. This is a
painful condition.
INCOMPATIBILITY
It is observed in watchtower that incompatibility of couple leads to marital crises. Also, that compatibility
determines goal similarity among
couple. For example, how they feel about having children.
According to Nkwocha (2002) compatibility or incompatibility
could be in form of ideas, principles, habits, temperament,
religion, education, and sex. He observed that human beings have
individual differences but problem arises when the husband or wife
or both are fanatical about such pursuits at the expense
of the other person.
Also, he noticed that some couples might hold
strongly to certain ideas, beliefs, interest and principles. This is dangerous to
family life especially if the other partner detests them. Serious problems come
in the areas of habit, ideas, beliefs, interest and principles once they are detestable to each of them. Examples include smoking, alcoholism, and drug addition,
keeping late nights. So if, the
husband has these behaviours and the wife detests them, incompatibility is bound to result.
In the area of education, Owo (1994) observed that
there is now quiet revolution in the family as a result of women's education cum
employment. Where one of the couple is educated and the other is almost uneducated, they may have a problem in their
marriage.
Odunze (1991) stated that a university graduate is riot educationally compatible with a primary school
student. Also, he noted that some
partners are both highly tempered. Each time they quarrel, they inflict
serious wounds on each other. For peace to be in the home, it is
important that at least one partner should be cool tempered.
For unity to be in the home, there must be religious
compatibility. Watchtower noted that worshiping God
together is the most important aspect of unity in the home.
Nkwocha stated that it is always better for those who are religiously inclined
to marry those who are like them. For example born again Christians
should marry born again Christians. He noted that incompatibility
based on religion has indeed torn many families apart. Sex
incompatibility is another area that causes problem in marriage
(Ibid).
LACK OF
LOVE/AFFECTION
Kumuyi
(2004) showed the importance of love in any relationship by saying that love is
living, love grows. Love can grow cold but it can be revived. He
stated that when love is replaced with bitterness the marriage
is at the verge of collapsing. In accordance with Kumuyi, Royks
(1999) perceived that lack of love between partners causes marital
instability.
ECONOMIC PROBLEM
Obviously, the economy of Nigeria is very bad as a
result of that most heads of families (husbands) are unable to cater
for the family. This problem leads to misunderstandings arid
finally to marital instabilities (Okonkwo, 2002). It is the duty
of the husband and wife to support their relatives. This
sometimes is a source of conflict between the couple, when one of
the spouses, usually the wife^ feels that the husband does not
adequately accommodate' her own siblings. This is especially
acute in a situation where the couple resources are limited. In
a well to-do family, such conflicts hardly arise, unless either of
the spouses is selfish by nature.
AGE OF MARRIAGE
Many married couples find out that they are not happy
as husband and wife. Some marriages fail because the man and woman
married when they were young and inexperienced in many
ways. People who marry before they are 18 years old are much
more likely to have unsuccessful marriages than if they had
waited until they were older (World Book, 2001).
Awake (2004) viewed premarital cohabitation as related to lower marital satisfaction, less time spent
together in shared activities, higher levels of marital disagreement,
less supportive behaviour, less positive
problem solving, as cause of marital instability.
In comparing couple who enter direct into marriage and couple who court, it was also observed that
couples who do not court first have a
higher risk of marital dissolution than those who enter into marriage after
some years of courtship.