This article is intended for parents and their up growing child. After reading some books and receiving information from one family or the other, i decided to write this articles. i also quoted some writes speeches. Please reading carefully.
Parenting a child is recognized by psychologists as a salient factor in child development and socialization (Freud, 1965; Frikson, 1963; Baumrind, 1971; Slater and Power 1987; and Uzoka, 1980) similarly, Agulama (1999) sees the family as the primary institution that socializes the young and provides surveillance over item behaviour.
Parenting a child is recognized by psychologists as a salient factor in child development and socialization (Freud, 1965; Frikson, 1963; Baumrind, 1971; Slater and Power 1987; and Uzoka, 1980) similarly, Agulama (1999) sees the family as the primary institution that socializes the young and provides surveillance over item behaviour.
Difficulties
experienced in the upbringing of child are inextricably associated with the
nature and function of the family as it is evident in the present day society.
Throughout childhood youngsters are dependent on their parents because of their
lack of experience and submissive nature. Parents on
the other hand, are
protective and because of their responsibility, directive. As adolescence is
reached, these familial roles change. The adolescent finds that individuality
must be achieved, independence accreted, and autonomy won. The strivings for this
changes may lead to disobedience, arguments, conflicts and rebellion especially
when they are forcefully brought under adult control. Many adolescent also
dislike being directed and led by their parents. Yet they are, according to the
findings of Bernard (1975), apprehensive of the implications of becoming
independent.
Some
parents today in Nigeria, who have adolescent children, are those that were
born and bred in urban areas where traditional culture and customs are not
strictly adhered to. In an attempt to join the craze for modernity these people
have no regard for traditional norms and values. This then affects their
parenting roles as they would want to have children that are “modern” in out
look.
There
modes of parental control exist. They are either authoritative permissive or
democratic in nature. In an authoritative family, Baumrind (1986) agreed with
Douvan and Adelson (1966) that parents play a domineering role in establishing
the conducts that are to be adhered to. Ogbebor (1994) and Horrocks (1976)
agreed that most adolescents are resentful of authoritarian parental control.
This type of parental control limits to the extreme independent decision
making.
For
a permissive family, Hurlock (1973) observes that adolescents from this type of
haves frequently have little respect for their parents and little desire to
take up responsibility in the home. Here parents exercise little or no control
/interest in whatever decisions adolescents take.
In
a democratic family, adolescents are consulted on family matters even though
the parents retain the final authority (Elder, 1968; Douvan and Adelson, 1966).
When adolescents perceive their parents as democratic, they are most often
motivated to comply with their parental wishes.
Conflicts at times occurs between adolescents and their parents. The reasons for such
conflicts according to Block and Langman (1974) include sexual behaviour,
dressing and using of drugs. But the most single cause of parent- adolescent
conflict is the preservation of parent’s attitudes that interfere with the
adolescent’s greatly expanded need for volitional independence. The adolescent
should try to show patience and understanding towards his parents.
Shetzer and Stone (1976) have
identified parent- youth conflicts as they end products of a process of
opposition which begins in early infancy and comes to fruition in adolescence.
Douvan and Adelson (1966) have also found that males rather than females are
more likely to become engaged in disagreement with their parents.
Counsellors
and psychologists should join the civil society in the struggle to smoother the
relationship between adolescents and their parents for better society. They
should also mount intensive media awareness to help educate them properly.
Within
the school setting, psychologists and counselors can use the forum of P.T.A
meetings to address parents on the different models of parenting the adolescent
and the major causes of conflicts among them.
They
can also open up private counseling clinics to avail parents and adolescents
that are not within the regular school system the opportunity of counseling
services in the regard.